For Dads (and Mums) everywhere.
Good Morning! It’s Dave Crane. Another daily motivation for you and I did promise I come on as soon as I could do to explain about being home alone as a dad now. This is kind of is it important I think, first of all if you’re a dad and then share some really good ideas for you but also for mums and four kids and the families everywhere around the world. But wondering you know I’ve got away on vacation about six weeks away after school. Holidays start and is on his own is he going to be okay well it really depends now. Let me share of you what it’s like first of all if you’re home alone dad what happens. In fact if you’re not a dad at all this would be completely new and alien to you so explain exactly what’s going on.
Now there’s a lot of noise in the background, let me show you first of all this is what’s going on. Can you see that? Transformer.. Yes and all the cars are blocked in this is a direct result of that being put up overnight. Oh, they’ll be happy when we have to go to work I’m not starting a fight. Because my car’s parked on the other side that ok the city so that noise you hear in the background all the way through is literally because they’re doing road works in fact that used to be a road now it’s like I’m not sure what it is. I think the building Mordor, you know from Lord of the Rings where throat had to go in the getting a ring. It was all the way around there won’t be surprised to find aux1 around tomorrow night but they go that’s just the way we roll in Sharjah. If you want to make sure it’s just outside of two x divided UAE google it so talking about perspective right what happens is when it comes to the summer predominantly in the UAE. Might be true for other places but probably not as much because you’re an expat a lot of families just basically leave and the wife takes the kids and this is how you usually works doesn’t always work like this.
Let’s go and visit the their family back in their home country could be India could be UK Australia where it is and we go in for six weeks it’s very hot here and drink with six weeks or so the summer there’s not a lot to do apartment just the usual stuff you can’t go outside of the kids get bored and we go I’ll be there yet are we there yet. Well, there ya are we there yet and all the normal stuff that legs as you probably works out if you are at that. So that is a left elope during this time and during that time we’re also thinking right well who I’ve got some freedom to get my head together and all the rest of it and I was gonna but actually the whole six week period turns out to be a bit like rather than a light lens awesome time. And you cook cleansing your system very spiritual time for that and it might not be appreciated at first glance for it to be like that but let me explain to you exactly why and on how all fit together.
If you can hear me about the ways of the building site over there but certainly is spent on your own it’s careful about six weeks it could be longer could be shot at I mean usually take a holiday to catch up with everybody at some point anyway but during that time you have an opportunity to get your head straight. Now if you’re married and your dad or even feel your data of some description and the one thing that goes through your mind all the time and this is not something to be thrown away because it’s super important is am I providing enough for my family so they’re covered by a roof over their heads we’ve got my food to eat and they’re enjoying their quality of life. Am I doing enough as a dad and that’s a fear that keeps you awake at night all the time. It doesn’t matter how much money you earn, whether you’re super rich or not so rich you’re always thinking about providing for your family now there in front of you.
So you get daily feedback, you get daily feedback like that a lot as well they also allows you to see how things are progressing as you go to work and you actually did go to we’re going to fight for what’s out there whether you think the public pays the same salary every month are you going out as an entrepreneur of small business owner still going to battle every single day of my heart probably when you’ve got six weeks off. You got to put that in perspective of what I can’t exactly why is that you do in the first place now that’s not something to be thrown away because it’s kind of important I’m constantly thank you about the fact that on a day-to-day basis all I do is make sure that the end of the day my family is fine I don’t often get a chance to look after me but this is a very important.
It was true for every dad you know when you get a plane and the air well we don’t do it anymore is now a video but in the good old days and you are old enough to remember. This is your dresses would stand there and say okay if in the case of emergency and an ox student last comes down applied to yourself before you apply to anybody else remember the firefighters are here and so on. What do you know, what I would do that did you put your oxygen mask something else that’s like you get like Vera. Let’s lug those all the way through the cabin it means that your pass out your kids will be strong enough to carry you that’s quite sweaty. So I’m going to disappear and get a something some of my head so excuse me for being so uncool, oof has to go to dab, dab, dab but it’s really hot but I want to be outside. Because i was a little bit dark in the house so that so basically if you don’t look after you first then you can’t carry your kid off the plane as a direct result of that you will both perish in burning plane. I hate to say this if you’re going on vacation to go now I’ve got very fly anyway day.
Why would you say that I you maybe not with the boys but the same kind of thing. So it makes sense looking at yourself that as optimized as you can be to look after everybody else. Now this whole period of summer break is exactly what that should be it’s an opportunity for each dad to recharge his mind as to exactly why he’s doing stuff. Now I save that I don’t mean disrespect it might be but it might be but your mother and the family goes away you might be with like the key provider might be a single parents and it’s a slightly different perspective all I can talk about and I’m sorry if it sounds very sexist or whatever I’m talking about it from my perspective. And hopefully that’ll fit in with a lot of other points of view as well so has it that as a parent who’s left alone you’re thinking right I can recharge my batteries and it must do.
So you must spend this time thinking about how you need to get something back on track when you were single you could do what you wanted you went to a party and you’re gonna be a friend you had a great time the event lots of girls are lots of guys and you just went out and enjoy all the sports and you went to all these different like clubs and really let your hair down now as you’re older. It should be the case that yeah you can do all that again but here’s the thing you don’t want soon you gotta have your sister and that’s why you got married when your friends didn’t say hey let’s grab the beer let’s go for a drink and let’s meet for a coffee anything well go all this time on my hands you probably won’t call them.
Because it’s not on your normal radar because the actual time that you need on your hands bizarrely enough is not six weeks all you need is about 20 minutes half an hour every day extra for yourself to be in your man cave now this is a big hand ladies are probably mention this again at a later date. I would disappear and put this shit up let me put something in perspective this will stop a lot of relationships we’re going down south I don’t mean to Australia or other not the south of England I’m talking about is when you have stupid arguments between union of a heart when guys come back from work what they need to have is a half an hour 20 minutes half an hour maybe 15 minutes alone in their man cave. The man cave doesn’t necessarily mean we’ve got big dungeon like Batman where they got all these gadgets but to him he has and in there needs to be left alone during that entire period of time during that period of time is doing stuff like going to the internet look at sports reading a newspaper. Maybe it’s going to facebook, linkedin doesn’t matter basically in silence recharging his batteries.
Now what tends to happen during that time is when you come back and welcome lady comes back from work oh she’s at home whatever it is comes in says. How is work alright so what happened nothing just work no one so you can be quiet what happened nothing or did somebody say something no it’s just a normal day when I want to make a big deal of it. Well I’m not making a big deal of it you are making a big deal of it you won’t tell me anything so something must have gone on what is it and they want to get to the heart of it but all the time the guys thinking leave me alone 10 minutes, please 10 minutes alone and then you can have as much of me as you want. Because that’s how our brains recharge in silence with lots of clutter all taken away and just nothing going on and there is nothing going on in there you’ve just trivial in your charge it.
Basically filling your battery up again and after that they’re all yours now the difference is tribute to the men and women for women when they come back from work or even know when you come back and meet them whatever the deal is. They want to talk or go blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, but all the things have happened during the day all the things that friends have said all the things that have the work or happened with the facebook. Whatever is that they’ve been doing during the day again I don’t mean to be sexist I’m just keeping the conversation flow but what they want from you is not a logical answer guys. They want you to just shut up don’t tell me what they should do so tell me that you would do that through it this way they want you just to listen and that’s how they recharge their batteries that’s why they’re interested in talking to each other shopping glossy soap operas because they make have a different language that works and certainly no.
This is not me making it up this is what conversations with experts in the field Dr. John great there aren’t many from Mars Women are from Venus Alan peas who wrote why women can’t read maps of men don’t listen visa real facts. Okay, so that 10 minutes of that are 20 minutes and that man cave to recharge your batteries will be left alone during that time is all you need so when you’ve got six weeks on your hands is actually bizarre because you come home to go while freedom where hey I need to go on the internet and you read your facebook or whatever it is you need to do you read it. You know you catch up on the sports find out how bad england played and how well everybody else played in comparison whatever is he doing. So then you’re all right then your back you say right where’s a family gone you got all this spare time. Now you can do a couple of things you can go and you can check out the box sets that you’ve been waiting to watch for a long time.
You know new stuff like the zoo we are walking dead to catch up on a fear The Walking Dead which you’ve always wanted to do but never got around to doing all these box sets are always useful for that like and the thing but there is a certain time we just go. You know what I’m really bored, I’m really bored, I feel really lonely and where’s my family gone and waiting to hear reports and get what’s absolutely up that your family. Now the key is you have six weeks don’t waste it being sent don’t waste it. No! No! goodness what we’re going to do I can’t wait to come back because any doing this service for you and your family are you gonna do and you should do it anyway because it makes your butt look big show.
I feel better it’s a how much you miss them but at the same time it’s an opportunity for you to practically change everything you got to say something a couple of projects now. Part of those projects are cleaning out all the clutter but you maybe don’t get a chance to work on that’s been right in there. I’ll just keep moving around looking to avoid the Sun is that better there you go so part time should be spent going through all the things you shouldn’t have any more. So it’s getting the ball books or cds clothes shoes at added a whole episode on that get rid of all that stuff because only you know and you really can’t be bothered to go through it. That you’re six weeks take a day take a weekend I just clutter free all your stuff the missus usually does it for you but at the same time you saw you mine, mine, mine, mine. Touch you have had that since I was 15 and there’s no reason we just don’t have it because you’re not used it for six months probably probably since you were 15.
So go through all the stuff you need to get rid of that’s the important thing but also set yourself a really cool project. Learn a new skill writes a book I’m gonna write a book another book I’m gonna write book all about public speaking of the ticks, ticks all the tips and tricks of being an entertainer motivator a public speaker. I’m going to create a video as an audio and also as a physical book that people can read that’s one of my big project with summer as well as other things I’m going to be doing. So save yourself a target that’s non, non work related you work at nine to five daily stuff but you sometimes have special projects that you can never really get round to. But you’ve always had a bit of a pipe dream, this is the time to do this is a time to get some engage in it because what you do very well its focus on one project.
It has lots of different things you’ll never get around to it you distract yourself and there’s something else but set one thing that you’ve got to do when you get to the end of that you set a loved one and read it as well as other things it can do all this time is the side that maybe if you don’t have a gym on a regular basis it’s time to work on your body. As you can see look at that body beautiful not sure that’s quite true and you’re probably going what David what are you talking about I’ve got my gym equipment. Here you see that I like trusted stuff so since I finished in this broadcast I’m gonna get stuck into doing that why because I need to. Because I was that always there to reduce but the options on the having to pay wide again and maybe as I declutter my wardrobe I can try it with jeans and say you know what I’m always gonna fit in them I can do that over the summer. When I got all that spare time that’s really strange because wandering through the house last night after I drop the girls off at the airport partners going to freedom I can now chill out.
I’ve got a dog as well so ash’s warning for the housing but you need to have energy working you need to have a reason otherwise time stops. It really does you end up going for a period of time and you can do this. Maybe if you keep yourself busy it won’t happen because you get in the flow you get the zone like sports will do. It’s very easy to become depressed about all this extra time it’s very easy to say you know what I’ve got too much time in my own head and I don’t like it a very good friend of mine hated being left on his own. They just have to have distractions catch up with old friends and that’s exactly what you should do to make that happen. So you have your pet project is going to also the pet project and so your family every day about you missing the love them but also all the friends that you don’t normally get a chance to catch up with.
Maybe the ones that you were friends with when you had a life years ago before you settle down to get married so you should have said it like that they’re the ones you should say. You know what let’s set a date and don’t just say let’s go, let’s go Cup seven dates hello money gonna meet say to them. In reality, ok this, friday or tonight or whatever and make sure you set the date and don’t make a really rubbish excuse now the thing is you’re not gonna go out hunting for lots of hot chicks and stuff because you’re married and you’re old but he wouldn’t look twice at you. So you can actually do what all guys do which is this something that women don’t seem to understand certainly my uh, my other half does understand when I go out with guys and we go for last night out which is a very rare occasion what we end up doing is going to a sports bar. That’s it! Sorry it’s really hot out of here it’s due by go to a sports bar sitting at a table which has TV screens in front of his we usually some kind of soccer or some kind of sports on and we just talked and that’s it we usually don’t move.
I’ll go anywhere else will sit there and say right guys it’s time to go because of security gonna throw you out there is nobody else left to go up. Ok, Emily that’s it we’re not even very good at drinking anymore I shouldn’t be talking about drinking and such but it’s true you’re not a party animal you’re actually at that and that changes the whole thing and if you measure combined party animal with dad then good luck to you. Tell me how you do it and send the other comments on the page and I which distribute that to everybody but in most cases that’s a part of you switch off and you actually wanted to switch off. That’s why you settle down and decide to get married because you come to the end of that kind of situation in most cases. Some cases like got me out let it out and that’s not the case for me it’s all so you have to do a couple of things. First of all, find time for yourself recharge your batteries find a project that’s really interested keep on to your family and tell me you love me on a daily basis and this is easily forgotten about.
By the way, because as you get into your project suddenly all the time blurs you forget how much routine of getting up getting breakfast a non-school pick them up double bar gets you from a day-to-day basis that’s probably your normal clock when you got six weeks time flies by. I don’t even know what happen and so weeks disappeared so on top of all these things you’ve got to make sure that you go and visit old friends catch up with them because what happens if you leave it in too long you’ll only ever seen when it comes around the Christmas or bumping into them in a shopping center. Oh, we’re about to leave yeah they gave leave the girl ways are not seen you for ages general tends to be in the by rugby sevens that most people catch up again and you wouldn’t even know if somebody’s been gone ten years because you only ever see even then. Well now’s the time to catch up you’d be surprised in these relationships how much they’ve they’ve grown and how much they can help you remember you put in some of these guys.
They know you they like you they trust you but we need to be successful respect you as a parents as well as of friends and they can help you in any part of business. They will you spend the entire day going out hunting for new client’s you’ve already got people who can refer you and they’ll do it with some of their clients because they really, really care about you and want you to be successful. Maybe they do maybe done but certainly going to have those conversations with those key people.
So those are my suggestions are my tips for enjoying a long hot summer look after yourself. Make sure you drink plenty of water for two reasons whatever it is it’s really hard to be based on divided of Yui. Secondly, we’ve got a hangover you’ll know about it maybe don’t drink water. And you any comments and things to share with me please feel free I’d love to know because there’s only so much i get aware of and I’d love to hear what different opportunities are there. But i might not know about I’m traveling to Eastern Europe got big game this weekend got a lot of other gigs lined up all the way from the next part of the summer.
So I might get a chance to travel to my folks well back end of the July beginning of august but every single day as much as I can do I’ll share everything with you. So let me know what you think. Make sure that you’re subscribing to this video just by saying follow what happened pops up on your phone to let you know what’s coming up and I’ll the number idea and she has some more stuff from you tomorrow.
Meanwhile, have a great day! Look at yourself and remember to brush your teeth it’s on the list of things that you have been talking about. And never leave the house without shoes on all right.